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sometimes you think your friend's are great, other times you realize that they are human. I just don't understand people.

Santa baby

<iframe src="http://www.elfster.com/apps/feeds/partial_page/EmbedFeed.aspx?groupID=7160445" frameborder="none" style="width:325px; height:400px;"></iframe><div style="padding-top:10px;width:325px">Elfster.com - <a href="http://www.elfster.com" target="_blank" style="font-size:10px;" title="Secret Santa | Wishlists | Social Gift Giving">Secret Santa | Wishlists | Social Gift Giving</a></div>


for the first tome in years I actually feel home. ♥



realization: I love him.....


and yet I Miss being single. how does that make any sense.... I suppose nothing in life makes any sense.

funny how life is.

the one guy I can see myself fall the hardest for is the one that moves away. funny how life just love toying with my heart.



Words to live by.

Healthy Spirit : " LIfe is not merely being alive, but being well

To life : "He, who has health, has hope; and he who has hope has everything

Healthy Body : "When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless, and intelligence cannot be applied" 

Happiness : "The brain is like a muscle. When we think well, we feel good. Understanding is a kind of ecstasy"


It's amazing how much my spelling and writing have improved since I started this journal back in 2004... Just amazing.

How did anyone understand ME!?!?!??!


Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

0 right now, but it will say 20 by july <3

I needed a rant

I know it's silly to be typing in my livejournal since I haven't really used it in a while but I needed to write somewhere. Honestly, I don't understand how I still remember my username and password.


I am stuck in a emotional rut I suppose and I am not sure as to what to do. Thing is, I dated this guy and now he has gotten my life to turn upside down by being an asshole. He broke up with me, I still don't know why, and now he is always around. Always.

I am sad about being alone and I am super lonely but I am okay being single. I am just emotionally run down.

I am just, depressed I guess.

I know it's silly but I tried to make things right between us. Since my close friend is dating his best 3 who happens to be my friend. He comments on all there facebook statuses and he is now bff with an old close friend of mine. I feel someone backstabbed by her in a way. Especially since she and him used to talk a lot of crap about each other and now I bet they are yaking it up about how awful I am. hary har har har.

Now instead of enjoying a night with my friends playing xbox, I sit here in front of my computer ready to cry my eyes out. I want to disappear. They all said I will be right back lauren. One of my friends left so I wouldn't be alone and so he left me with another friend. Who left to be in that party.

I am going to keep to myself this weekend. Talk to no one. I need to get my head straight. I am tired of this depression that always seems to keep coming back.

I get it, People will think this is stupid, but don't judge until you understand.


It's been a year almost exactly since I wrote in this silly thing. I can't believe my life was jotted down on here for so many years. It's nice to come back to something so old and see the past I have been through that has brought me to my present. In reality I always regretted things in the past that had happened but now I don't. Things are more perfect in my life than I thought they would ever be =) Still single but it's such a great thing to not have to worry about a guy, It's been a year that I haven't been in a relationship and I feel like it's taken me that year to be ready for one =) Things are just amazing, that is really it. I think when you just let life happen, and focus on yourself you let the good of life in. I might come here time and time again. It's nice to have something to let all my happiness out on =D

It's like you have to spring clean with people. <3

All the people who wished me pain and misery wished in vain.


Lets change the world.

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April 2013


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